WHERE IS M?






She isn’t dashing from window to window checking wind speeds at six in the morning. Her kayak lies dry in its rack.

She isn’t standing at her stove, pouring boiling chokecherry jelly into jars; or chopping vegetables at the counter for the homemade soups she lovingly crafts, a recipe rebel.

She isn’t kneeling in front of a rock bed in the yard picking leaves from between their jagged teeth. Nor is she sitting on the back deck laughing at an industrious sparrow taking his morning shower in her birdbath.

She isn’t at her desk. Her laptop lolls a dusty witness proclaiming productivity nil. A half-made puzzle splatters a table, the pieces scattered and isolated like the bits that make up M.

Step lightly across the hardwood floor and peek around the edge of the double door into the bedroom. Is that M curled on the bed, her breathe a reassuring rise and fall? Is she asleep or enclosed in an imagined sanctuary, a sandy alcove on a private stream where she can float in cool water and dream.

10 Comments

  1. Barbara Thrasher
    Sep 22, 2022

    We are all hoping that M has been in a Master’s program learning many new steps on the art of ‘being’ to finally lick the earth locked habits of ‘doing’. Steps that include pain, confusion, heartache, fear, frustration, and patience, calmness, quiet, family love, marital devotion, caring workers, and new medical break throughs. We will continue to advance on our own journeys through your posts.

    • Madelon
      Sep 22, 2022

      Constantly reaching toward our ultimate potential is the reason we exist, so thanks for the reminder of all the signs pointing me in the right direction.

      • Donna Thrasher
        Sep 24, 2022

        Madelon and Barbara, you both have such great wisdom to share. You have been my mentors since childhoood. Love and light to you on your Soul journey gaining in wisdom and love. Donna

        • Madelon
          Sep 25, 2022

          Donna, thanks for your uplifting message. I will carry it with me as I move forward into the unknown, believing we are not always meant to understand, only to accept.

  2. Laurie Hutchinson
    Sep 22, 2022

    Madelon, your caring and insight has inspired me to write and tell stories for decades. Eventually we all stop doing or at least slow down our doing to discover the glow of just being together. We sure do have some great memories. Laughter around the kitchen counter at your beautiful welcoming home. And a whole pile of learning together are imbedding into every fibre of my being. Thank you for blessing me with your heart. Love you loads
    PS I wish I was there curled up on the bed – giggling with you!!!

    • Madelon
      Sep 22, 2022

      Those times are good medicine, in fact and memory. I take doses every day.

  3. Kim Phillips
    Sep 22, 2022

    Hoping all is well, you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. WE are all held in the Palm of His Hand!!

    • Madelon
      Sep 22, 2022

      Kim, sounds like a warm, safe place to be.

  4. Katharine Langille
    Sep 22, 2022

    Even though M is taking a much needed break from the day to day activities that drive us, we are watching and waiting for a return to at least some of those cherished things that keep us motivated and full of a sense of well being. Until then, M, breathe in the fall-fresh prairie air and dream of days to come when the universe once again unfolds itself to you.

    • Madelon
      Sep 22, 2022

      Katherine, finding the pieces of oneself that drives the action of what we choose to do is the hard part. Discipline, will power, flexibility, acceptance are swirled away by a whirlpool of immediacy, pain, questions, nausea, debilitation. How often can I raise my head, even an arm against the power of that torrent I question in my weakened state. So far my answer is once more, and I make the effort and gain that next small win.

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